Saturday, 2 June 2012

A Sad Truth That Makes Relationships Work

How to find the real person you can stay with for the rest of your life
We all grew up to know that we have to be kind and caring. Loving, and very considerate of others’ needs. We were taught to not always focus on ourselves but also to focus on the good of others. Even the bible says that we have to think about the needs of others and not only of ourselves.

The sad truth which you may be surprised to hear is that you should not focus on the other person during your courtship period.  

Don’t try to make a good impression. Do not try to be considerate and selfless because you want the other person to like you

While this selflessness makes you a great date, it doesn't get you what you want. It will not get you the right life partner who can really be there for you.
The truth is that many people try to please the other and because f this they live a false life. If you are actually serious about finding the right person, even as you allow God to lead you, please try to be yourself. By being you, any unwanted trait in the other person will be forced out. Remember that this is the real YOU that will eventually live with your partner. So if he/she cannot bear you now then it’s no need going on because you will be unhappy in the future.

Make it all about you, not about him or her. It really takes courage and maturity to be this way nut in the long run, it pays wonderful dividend. You make a big mistake when you set aside your feelings and cater totally to the other person desires so that he or she will like you. The likeness surely is dependent on the attitude you are putting up appearances.
Openness and honesty in dating will also carry forward into openness and honesty in marriage. Knowing that you are right for each other before the wedding is the secret to a lifetime of wedded bliss as a couple. Striving to please at all cost during this time is not good for you. Why?

The number one reason is that it blocks the other person from knowing who you are. He will never be able to discover the compatibilities of both of you. It makes the two of you to be in a false security sense. Allow your real attitude to show and do not be embarrassed. If he really loves you, it will show too. He will not leave. And remember, it is better to go separate ways now than to do it when you are already married. Let him go if you do not fit his expectations.

If he's not the man for you, better to find out now instead of after the wedding when you have a big mortgage and small kids.
It's all about you.However,remember that there is enough room for improvement in the grey areas of your character---and you must work at them.
If you desire a good relationship that will last for decades and still be very sweet, and then do not spend your courtship period suppressing your real self. It will show up later and cause problems. Do not just try to be perfect so that you can keep the relationship.
Sometimes it will even make your partner not to appreciate your importance. Sometimes it happens that if you are too ‘’good’’ you may not be appreciated. While not encouraging you to be mean or wicked, just be your real self.

Don't settle. Be selfish. This is your relationship, too. You have the right to choose anyone and reject anyone for any COGENT reason. You don't owe your dates anything except courtesy and kindness. You don’t owe them sex. And you can see why sex must not be part of any relationship before you are married.

You will owe your spouse a lifetime of love and commitment. The more you think and approach relationship this way, the better your chances of getting the best.
This is also not an encouragement to be wicked or selfish. Love the person deeply as you would everyone, but be you. A note of warning here: You should be ready to see a lot of guys walk out. You already know what it means: They are not for you and you are not the ideal for them.

If you're dating the right person, he or she will love you just as you are. There are plenty of prospects who will meet your requirements and needs. But, you'll never find them if you settle for something less than you want. Be open from the outset. Express yourself freely and openly. It's not phony, it's not pretentious: it's you being you. You can still be charming and polite while doing it. And in this way you are in for a lasting relationship.