Friday, 20 February 2015

Sex: Is The Wait Really Worth It?

When the topic of sexual purity or virginity is raised,as I see on many online forums,the kind of responses I read and the reactions of certain people get me wondering aloud,and even quizzing myself again.But,my questions are not about the decisions I've made for purity which can't yet be reversed by anything or anyone, by His grace(though tripped up,somehow several times),I question the motive behind my long years of abstinence and the struggle many like-minded persons are going through in a world that highly glamorizes sexual freedom and relativism but still humiliates its own when they wish to indulge themselves.Talk about "you are free to do it but don't get caught".

Try to act their scripts and you'll soon become popular,though in a way you would never have wished;a hiding celebrity as everyone,including your fans would surprisingly shout and hang it boldly over your head,"Guilty Of Sexual Scandal".If you don't get my drift, ask Bill Clinton or Tiger Woods how far....Or some men of God who allowed their male organ to think for them. What hypocrisy!

I once read an article that asked if virginity wasn't overated and I was surprises at the logic of the writer and the comments of readers.Well,I'm not just talking about virginity but Purity ,which is far above just being  .

Back to my topic.I have read some ladies boldly screaming that they hate to marry male virgins(don't ask me any questions o);that they cant even think of dating such ones.Many guys also have the same warped notion.Their reason: they won't know how to do it.One girl was quick to say that she hate the idea of having to teach somebody what to do and how to do it on the bed.As I write this,my mind is busy processing a million and one thoughts about these kind of people.They believe that the more sexually experienced you are the more chances of marriage survival?Is happiness or marital success all about sex? want people with experience.For real?Are you kidding me? Do folks really think like this?

When has it become a taboo for one to be a virgin?When did people begin to frown at chastity or faithfulness instead of glorifying it?

And these are the same folks that would someday turn to bloggers or pop up on TV to lament how all men/women are dogs and can never be trusted. I disagree.
Yes.they do.I know them.

What rights then do you have to complain about infidelity in your relationship when you just got blessed with an "experienced" mate?
And many times I've wondered what the fuss about sex is.What really is there to learn that one has to do it outside marriage?If success in relationships is totally dependent on sexual skillfulness or on how many people you have slept with before marriage,then why do we still have them getting divorced?I believe that everything one need to know about sex can be known within marriage.And you've got decades to improve on whatever you both feel needed to be upped. 

And how lovely if none of you had any previous experience!There would be no room for comparison.There would be no way to bother about what or who did what.Every experience is brand new and you have the freedom to teach and learn whatever you could imagine.There'd be no dark or haunting memories.It's good and really worth it when you wait.

Granted that sex plays a vital role in marriage but,how is it to be done?
If you spend your single years sampling every male or female that gets close to you,why do you believe that you re gonna stop after marriage?Its a very subtle lie of the devil using our frail human psychology to deceive us.

If you have not trained yourself as a single person in sexual purity(Thoughts and actions),and developed a strong base and appreciation of fidelity/faithfulness before marriage,please do not hope too much for a miracle when you tie the knot.Marriage doesn't instantly kill your desire for other women/men though it can dampen it for a time especially as you bask in the euphoria of the newness and expectations.

Someone once told me that,even on your wedding day ,as you are sitting right there with your spouse, its possible to see someone more charming!i dont know how true that is but, I know that how you have trained your mind to operate even before marriage is what keeps you unshakable.What actually were you looking for in marriage in the first place?The philosophies,the kingdom principles you have built over the years,the priceless wise counsels of the Wisdom Incarnate you have picked and pecked on all these years,the fatherly training received in the wilderness with the Master and courage as the tempter roared at you(as you mingled among the brethren and the worldly,even in church) would all crystalize beautifully and that powerful arm of the Holy Spirit keeps you standing,deeply loving and cherishing your spouse till the end.

I think the time of singleness is a time to prepare and develop this control as the desire is usually fierce,sometimes it can be really fiery and looks like it isn't possible.Still you don't have to break no matter how you are bent.He doesn't expect you to break.Every temptation He allows is commensurate to the grace He has given you.(I Cor.10:13)
The years are for learning so that you can do it well when you finally step into marriage.Its not a time to jump from one bed to the other for whatever reason.Its a precious time to develop yourself in many areas that would guarantee a blissful marital journey.Sex is worth waiting for.

If you have been waiting,don't give up.Stand tall because you are the real man/woman.
Purity/virginity is like a diamond,very valuable because its rare,especially now.
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