Wednesday, 29 April 2015

Why Women Stay In Abusive Relationships

There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. Many stay out of fear. Either they have been threatened that bad things will happen to them, or their family members if they try and leave the abusive situation.

 Lack of money can be another reason, and not having anyone to turn to for help. Like men - women are proud creatures and often don't want others knowing how bad her situation really is in shame that she will be looked down upon and knowing that someone will say "why don't you just leave."

These are dreaded words to hear and can cause even more stress to the recipient of abuse who wants to get out of their situation but feel powerless and afraid, not knowing how to take a step towards freedom from the abuse they are forced to endure. There are many forms of abuse a woman can suffer, and sadly far too many women in today's society are being murdered by their partners or husbands.


There is always a root cause to violent or abusive relationships. As women, we are conditioned to be the nurtures and the caregivers. In reality this is really no more than just a theory because women need nurturing themselves. Men do not seem aware of this. I have spoken to many women who have told me how much they miss their mothers that have been dead for years. They miss being nurtured and having someone deeply care about their wellbeing.

This is a problem that can easily cause a relationship to start off on an uneven keel, leading to domestic violence, abuse and mental cruelty. At some point in the relationship. A woman may feel a glimmer of her self worth arise only to be hammered down and sent back into her ever existing darkness. Any self worth she has can waiver as soon as the name calling and personal attacks on her personal self starts and she is sent reeling back into her little corner once again.

Abuse has subtle signs to begin with that are easily over looked because women take them as compliments. Lets face it, we are too busy being in love to be aware of something dark and sinister lurking about in the undergrowth of compliments. We often take his obsessive texting or phoning as being concerned for our wellbeing, making us feel as if we matter to someone for the first time in our life. 

We don't have any idea about how to discriminate between "growing obsessiveness" and genuine love. Women are getting mixed messages. You get the impression he genuinely cares and loves you and he tells you he is not like other men.


He will cause to you to believe that he is the right person for you, conditioning you over a period of time that you can't live without him in your life. You eventually look to him for validation and dependency in all areas of your life without being conscious of it. Before long you have handed your power over to this person without even signing a form, and he now controls your thinking and opinions. Your now "a puppet."

If you disagree on anything his reaction might be that he wants to discuss it with you, but the discussion turns into bitter name calling and threats and this is where you realize you must retreat back to your corner before he begins displaying physical abuse. Most of the time it happens anyhow.

Women can live in an abusive relationship for many years before they seek any form of help, fearing that he will carry out his threats if they leave. This happened to me many years ago. I was threatened I would be shot. Friends would ask me why I stayed and I would change the subject. I did not want them to know I was afraid of leaving. There are many forms of relationship abuse. 

Being forced to have sex without your consent is "rape," and because two people are in a relationship or married does not give one partner the right to have sex with the other without that persons consent.
 This is another reason why many women put up with being constantly raped by their partners, they are misguided in their thinking that because they are married its okay. It is NOT okay. Signing a marriage certificate and taking his name does not give him private label rights to use you like an inanimate object.

The dictionaries' definition of the word "rape is: Having sex with someone against their will - an act of raping. 

There is a way out, talk to your doctor and be completely honest about your situation, and ask him/her to refer you to a counsellor, they will be able to lead you to a safe house or refuge. Don't ever worry about what your friends think. Your life is on the line. These are the first steps to taking back your power.


There are many reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. Many stay out of fear. Either they have been threatened that bad things will happen to them, or their family members if they try and leave the abusive situation. Lack of money can be another reason, and not having anyone to turn to for help. 

Like men - women are proud creatures and often don't want others knowing how bad her situation really is in shame that she will be looked down upon and knowing that someone will say "why don't you just leave."
These are dreaded words to hear and can cause even more stress to the recipient of abuse who wants to get out of their situation but feel powerless and afraid, not knowing how to take a step towards freedom from the abuse they are forced to endure. There are many forms of abuse a woman can suffer, and sadly far too many women in today's society are being murdered by their partners or husbands.

There is always a root cause to violent or abusive relationships. As women, we are conditioned to be the nurtures and the caregivers. In reality this is really no more than just a theory because women need nurturing themselves. Men do not seem aware of this. I have spoken to many women who have told me how much they miss their mothers that have been dead for years. They miss being nurtured and having someone deeply care about their wellbeing.

This is a problem that can easily cause a relationship to start off on an uneven keel, leading to domestic violence, abuse and mental cruelty. At some point in the relationship. A woman may feel a glimmer of her self worth arise only to be hammered down and sent back into her ever existing darkness. Any self worth she has can waiver as soon as the name calling and personal attacks on her personal self starts and she is sent reeling back into her little corner once again.

Abuse has subtle signs to begin with that are easily over looked because women take them as compliments. Lets face it, we are too busy being in love to be aware of something dark and sinister lurking about in the undergrowth of compliments. 
We often take his obsessive texting or phoning as being concerned for our well-being, making us feel as if we matter to someone for the first time in our life. We don't have any idea about how to discriminate between "growing obsessiveness" and genuine love. Women are getting mixed messages. You get the impression he genuinely cares and loves you and he tells you he is not like other men.

He will cause to you to believe that he is the right person for you, conditioning you over a period of time that you can't live without him in your life. You eventually look to him for validation and dependency in all areas of your life without being conscious of it. Before long you have handed your power over to this person without even signing a form, and he now controls your thinking and opinions. Your now "a puppet."

If you disagree on anything his reaction might be that he wants to discuss it with you, but the discussion turns into bitter name calling and threats and this is where you realize you must retreat back to your corner before he begins displaying physical abuse. Most of the time it happens anyhow.

Women can live in an abusive relationship for many years before they seek any form of help, fearing that he will carry out his threats if they leave. This happened to me many years ago. I was threatened I would be shot. Friends would ask me why I stayed and I would change the subject. I did not want them to know I was afraid of leaving. There are many forms of relationship abuse. 
Being forced to have sex without your consent is "rape," and because two people are in a relationship or married does not give one partner the right to have sex with the other without that persons consent. This is another reason why many women put up with being constantly raped by their partners, they are misguided in their thinking that because they are married its okay. It is NOT okay.

 Signing a marriage certificate and taking his name does not give him private label rights to use you like an inanimate object.

The dictionaries definition of the word "rape is: Having sex with someone against their will - an act of raping. There is a way out, talk to your doctor and be completely honest about your situation, and ask him/her to refer you to a counsellor, they will be able to lead you to a safe house or refuge. Don't ever worry about what your friends think. Your life is on the line. These are the first steps to taking back your power.

written by: 
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What other issues do you think can make a lady stay in an abusive relationship?Make your comments below,lets discuss it.