Marriage isn’t a walk in the park and it isn’t a drama. Marriage is a
serious business and only serious minds can enter and succeed. Seriousness of
marriage demands that you make serious soul searching and ask serious questions
and be very sincere with the answers.
Marriage can make or mar a life and
nothing is as devastating as a wrong choice.
So what are the important
questions you may need to ask before you say ‘I DO”?
Whether because of shyness, lack of interest or a
desire to preserve romantic mystery, many couples do not
ask each other the difficult questions that can help build the foundation for a
stable marriage, according to relationship experts.
In addition to wanting someone with whom they can raise children and build a
secure life, those considering marriage now expect their spouses to be both
best friend and confidant. These romantic-comedy expectations, in part thanks
to Hollywood, can be difficult to live up to.
Below are some key points I want to share with you on this issue. Please
feel very free to say your opinion in the comment box below, let’s discuss this
and stay happy in our relationships.If you are ready,let's roll......
1.FAITH:
This is very important. Faith defines a lot about people
thought life and it affects how they look at life and also how they look at
people and situations. You may not realize but, the faith you profess has deep
impact on how you relate with people because it has over the years formed your
thought pattern and beliefs.
So what's the faith of the other person? Can it be married
with yours? Do you have anything in common and will there be major differences
in the future when you are finally married? Do not take this lightly because
serious issues will come up later, especially when the kids begin to come.
Which faith will they belong to? And is there going to be an ego trip on both
sides as to which religion is superior?
Children born into such families usually end up not having
any faith at all. Think then about this before you commit to it.
2.CHARACTER:
Character defines a person. Hats the overall character of
the person you want to marry. This has nothing to do with what they put up when
you are on a date or when you are in public together. It is not also about what
they do when they are not with you-in public. Some may be real, though. What are
their behaviors in secret when no one is watching? What are the things you wouldn’t
like to see your loved one do even in secret? Is it visible in this person’s life?
Please do not gloss over anyone. Bring them out and see if it is possible to
trash them immediately. Marriage journey is too far to pretend or gloss over
serious issues. What’s their character?
3.LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH
I know that many people including you may be surprised to
hear this. If love isn’t all that is needed, then what is? Truth is that love
must be there in the first place for anything to take off but, there needs to
be many other qualities that will help sustain that love, lubricate it and help
it to continue over many decades. How do they handle disputes? How do they
handle stress and pressure? How do they handle offenses from others? These will
help you know what might happen should you find yourself in such unforeseen situation.Fact remains that you must have misunderstanding in your marriage but how you handle it determined the outcome.
What is their reaction to provocation?
4.THEIR FAMILY
You may think that I am concerned about family status, huh? Know
how do they treat their family members? This is very important. You need to
check if there is harmony in the family they are coming from and how they treat
each other. Most importantly, find out how your friend treats members of their
family and be sure that this is how you will be treated. Some cases are exception
though. But you should know because one doesn’t give what he/she doesn’t have.
5.YOUR EXES AND SEX:
No need to assume it doesn’t matter. If any of you or both
ever had a relationship in the past, which was romantic and sex was involved,
it matters. Many people have a very soft spot for anyone they ever had a sexual
encounter with. Many people who cheat in marriage do it with familiar friends,
usually exes. Initially It appears innocent. The spouse might even be aware of
the “harmless casual friendship” but that’s usually the trick. You should
define the boundaries of friendship with any exes you ever had. Take the most
drastic measures you need to take to save and preserve your marriage, if you really
care, else you will be sorry.
6.WHAT ABOUT THE
FUTURE?
What are your ideals and what are the plans you have for the
future? Do they look alike and can they really be harmonized so that both efforts
would be channeled to almost same point. It can be frustrating when couples are
moving in totally 2 different directions and speaking 2 different languages in
term of plans and life careers. You need to know what their plans are .Where do
you see yourself 10 years from now? How do you intend to get there? What have
you started doing now? Find out and see how you can key in and form a powerful
force to drive the goal.
7.CHILDREN:
I once posted a video of a sister who said that she doesn’t want to have kids.One of the things that is usually lacking in many
romantic movies and novels/magazine love stories is kids. It is almost never mentioned.
The romance continues with
only 2 people who passed through many hurdles and defeated numerous enemies standing
in the way of their love. One of the strongest factors in marriage is
the arrival of children. Many couples suddenly discover that they are beginning
to feel apart because of the kids.
The time spent together begins to dwindle
and if you didn’t prepare to tackle this wisely beforehand, it can actually
crack a relationship. It cracked many already. Kids can cause exhaustion, they
can cause pressure and fatigue and these can create lack of interest in other things.
Affection
for the spouse may be affected especially if one isn’t mature enough to handle this.
It is one of the reasons that some couples after a while, make out time to go
for a holiday, just to be alone on their own and rekindle their love again. So,
what have you thought and talked about it?
Do they love kids? How many and how will you handle issues
of kids when you are blessed with them? TALK NOW.
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