Monday, 28 March 2016

7 Questions To Ask Before You Marry Them

Marriage isn’t a walk in the park and it isn’t a drama. Marriage is a serious business and only serious minds can enter and succeed. Seriousness of marriage demands that you make serious soul searching and ask serious questions and be very sincere with the answers. 

Marriage can make or mar a life and nothing is as devastating as a wrong choice.

So what are the important questions you may need to ask before you say ‘I DO”? 

Whether because of shyness, lack of interest or a desire to preserve romantic mystery, many couples do not ask each other the difficult questions that can help build the foundation for a stable marriage, according to relationship experts.

In addition to wanting someone with whom they can raise children and build a secure life, those considering marriage now expect their spouses to be both best friend and confidant. These romantic-comedy expectations, in part thanks to Hollywood, can be difficult to live up to. 

Below are some key points I want to share with you on this issue. Please feel very free to say your opinion in the comment box below, let’s discuss this and stay happy in our relationships.If you are ready,let's roll......


1.FAITH:
This is very important. Faith defines a lot about people thought life and it affects how they look at life and also how they look at people and situations. You may not realize but, the faith you profess has deep impact on how you relate with people because it has over the years formed your thought pattern and beliefs.

So what's the faith of the other person? Can it be married with yours? Do you have anything in common and will there be major differences in the future when you are finally married? Do not take this lightly because serious issues will come up later, especially when the kids begin to come. Which faith will they belong to? And is there going to be an ego trip on both sides as to which religion is superior?
Children born into such families usually end up not having any faith at all. Think then about this before you commit to it.

2.CHARACTER:
Character defines a person. Hats the overall character of the person you want to marry. This has nothing to do with what they put up when you are on a date or when you are in public together. It is not also about what they do when they are not with you-in public. Some may be real, though. What are their behaviors in secret when no one is watching? What are the things you wouldn’t like to see your loved one do even in secret? Is it visible in this person’s life? Please do not gloss over anyone. Bring them out and see if it is possible to trash them immediately. Marriage journey is too far to pretend or gloss over serious issues. What’s their character?

3.LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH

I know that many people including you may be surprised to hear this. If love isn’t all that is needed, then what is? Truth is that love must be there in the first place for anything to take off but, there needs to be many other qualities that will help sustain that love, lubricate it and help it to continue over many decades. How do they handle disputes? How do they handle stress and pressure? How do they handle offenses from others? These will help you know what might happen should you find yourself in such unforeseen situation.Fact remains that you must have misunderstanding in your marriage but how you handle it determined the outcome. What is their reaction to provocation?

4.THEIR FAMILY

You may think that I am concerned about family status, huh? Know how do they treat their family members? This is very important. You need to check if there is harmony in the family they are coming from and how they treat each other. Most importantly, find out how your friend treats members of their family and be sure that this is how you will be treated. Some cases are exception though. But you should know because one doesn’t give what he/she doesn’t have.

5.YOUR EXES AND SEX:

No need to assume it doesn’t matter. If any of you or both ever had a relationship in the past, which was romantic and sex was involved, it matters. Many people have a very soft spot for anyone they ever had a sexual encounter with. Many people who cheat in marriage do it with familiar friends, usually exes. Initially It appears innocent. The spouse might even be aware of the “harmless casual friendship” but that’s usually the trick. You should define the boundaries of friendship with any exes you ever had. Take the most drastic measures you need to take to save and preserve your marriage, if you really care, else you will be sorry.

6.WHAT ABOUT THE FUTURE?

What are your ideals and what are the plans you have for the future? Do they look alike and can they really be harmonized so that both efforts would be channeled to almost same point. It can be frustrating when couples are moving in totally 2 different directions and speaking 2 different languages in term of plans and life careers. You need to know what their plans are .Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? How do you intend to get there? What have you started doing now? Find out and see how you can key in and form a powerful force to drive the goal.

7.CHILDREN:

I once posted a video of a sister who said that she doesn’t want to have kids.One of the things that is usually lacking in many romantic movies and novels/magazine love stories is kids. It is almost never mentioned. The romance continues with only 2 people who passed through many hurdles and defeated numerous enemies standing in the way of their love. One of the strongest factors in marriage is the arrival of children. Many couples suddenly discover that they are beginning to feel apart because of the kids. 

The time spent together begins to dwindle and if you didn’t prepare to tackle this wisely beforehand, it can actually crack a relationship. It cracked many already. Kids can cause exhaustion, they can cause pressure and fatigue and these can create lack of interest in other things.

Affection for the spouse may be affected especially if one isn’t mature enough to handle this. It is one of the reasons that some couples after a while, make out time to go for a holiday, just to be alone on their own and rekindle their love again. So, what have you thought and talked about it?

Do they love kids? How many and how will you handle issues of kids when you are blessed with them? TALK NOW.