Feeling that you are stuck in an unhappy relationship can take a great toll on a person. And the truth is that many couples experience this situation everyday and don't know what to do about it. There can be many causes for an unhappy relationship and many solutions as well.
There are some things you can do
to turn the situation around if you are willing to do them. Remember, if you do nothing, then things will only stay the same or get worse. So deciding to do something to change the situation is the best step to take. That relationship cannot work unless you are ready to make it work.
First Thing to Do
If you are unhappy in your relationship, the first thing to do is to figure out the cause of your unhappiness. Is it something your mate has done or not done? Is it something he/she has said? Is it something you have done or some attitude you have? Is there some need that you have that is not being met in the relationship? Has a misunderstanding occurred? Are you blowing things out of proportion? Are your expectations about your relationship, your mate, or even yourself, "unrealistic"? What is the real reason for your unhappiness?
Asking yourself questions like these can help you come to a conclusion as to the real reason for your unhappiness. Also, try to keep in mind that even the best of relationships hit "bumps" in the road sometimes. We all experience good days and bad days. This is true for relationships just as it is for every other area of life. So don't expect every day to be perfect. Just because a couple of days don't go the way you would like for them to, doesn't mean that everything is falling apart. That's just the way life is sometimes. Make sure your expectations are "realistic".
The Second Thing to Do---Look for the cause
Once you figure out the reason for your unhappiness, the next step is to take action to remedy the situation. This might involve things like having a heart to heart talk with your loved one and explaining to them how you feel. It might involve changing how you perceive things or changing your attitude about them. If you feel like a need is not being met, then letting your mate know about it could turn everything around. Sometimes people don't know that we are hurting, let alone why, until we tell them. When we tell them, most of the time, they are more than willing to meet us at our point of need.
The Third Thing----commitment
This could easily be the first or second thing to do because it is one of the most vital steps to consider. Here it is. "You must make sure that you are totally committed to making this relationship work". Anything less than a total commitment on your part is worse than doing nothing at all. Putting in a half- hearted effort is not an option here. There might be times when you feel that your loved one is not doing their part, that they are not as committed as you are. You cannot control what others do and feel but you can control what you do. Being totally committed, no matter what happens, can help you to get through the tough times.
Give it time to work. Be patient. Great relationships are not created overnight. They take time and effort. And the people who enjoy these kinds of relationships have put in the time and effort to create them. They are the people who do the little things everyday to create the relationships they dream about. And they do it consistently, making their relationships to their loved ones the most important thing in their lives. They are those people we envy, and wish we had their kind of relationship.
Don't be afraid to seek professional counseling for your problems. There are many qualified therapists and counselors who can help you on your way. Sometimes it takes someone on the "outside looking in" to see what is at the heart of the situation. These qualified pros can often offer a quicker, more stable, and lasting solution than you can find on your own.
Most importantly,turn to God and ask for His guidance.He knows the heart of every man and He can recreate the old to become new;nothing is impossible for Him to change.
Above all remember, you alone have the power to create the kinds of relationships you desire in your life. All the good advice in the world won't change a thing until you decide to do something to make it happen. Start today to build that kind of relationship you desire. You can, and will achieve it.
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