When you are married there is the
initial strong and powerful surge of feelings (euphoria) just like being new in
a new status or acquiring a new and long anticipated gadget, but it’s usually on
a very much higher level, almost impossible to describe
There is a very strong determination
to do all you can to make your relationship work. You have a very high hope and
expectation that this relationship should last ‘‘till the end of time or until
death do you path’’.You sincerely do not want anything to come between you and
your new love and soon your mind begins to move toward forming a new family.
You begin to picture a perfect home,
or a very happy home where everyone is accepted and where love is the language.
You sincerely wish all this could come through and make your home a mini-heaven
and an example for others families. You picture a place you will always be
proud of, a place you’ll always miss and long to come back to every time after work;
you long for a warm haven that is so soothing and accommodating that it acts as
a strong fortress against any turmoil you faced during the day-no matter how
fierce you can always come back here and find peace.
But then, after just about few months
one of your exes tries to ‘Re-connect’. At first you didn’t think it was advisable
and right to respond to the deluge of calls and text messages, but as they
continued you began to reply and even allowed yourself to flow on the same
subtle romantic frequency, in your words. Somehow you believed it was harmless
because marriage was a shield and there was no way you could meet again due to distance.
You were wrong.
You forgot that the mind has a lot to
do with our relationships and the way we see other people. And our minds can be
greatly affected by what we hear. After a few weeks of texting and calling you
soon discovered that you were beginning to be disquieted. Silent
dissatisfaction and doubts began to trickle into you and it was becoming obvious
(unknown to you) to your spouse. You could not pin-point anything anybody had
done wrong but you feel always like finding faults. Your wrong interaction with
your exes is trying to wreck the worst havoc on your marriage and you need to
take drastic measures. What do you do now?
1. Some of your friends just
have to go especially after you are married. It does not matter if they
misunderstood you or not. There is no need to maintain them again. This includes anyone you ever had a romantic
relationship with before marriage. Communications with them usually somehow
have a way of rekindling the romance especially if it was someone you loved
somehow and who had some really attractive trait you admired which may not be
present at all or be in the same degree in your present spouse. Kill many
communications if you want to live long.
2. Channel all energy you’ve got into
building your present relationship and realize that nothing should come between
you and your family. Also this is a decision you have to make once you are
married. You do not of course want to enter into the unnecessary stress of
double living or false living; where you feel a certain obligation to two
people at the same time. If you place yourself in such a situation, you will
surely break down. Many people you see today are just miserable and worn out
because of this kind of life.
3. Friends to avoid also include
women who have no serious regard for family life. They believe that
relationships are disposable. They have never enjoyed any stable one and so do
not think it exists. You have to determine not to trade your happiness for
anything at all, any flirting or ungodly suggestions from outside is dangerous
and harmful to your dream of a fulfilling married life. Picture your future
family and let it dawn on you that you alone have the task of determining to
make it work. You can do it.
“Marriage
is honorable and the marriage bed must be kept pure for God will judge all
immoral people’’—Heb 13:4
No comments:
Post a Comment